To steal a moment of lust

I totally scored last night. While I was working on the drive thru a regular in a black Escapade starting talking to me as usual but this time it was more than the usual flirting. She met me when my shift ended and we drove at great velocity to her home in the hills.

Her husband is in television production so I thought that this may be a good opportunity for my career which has dramatically slowed down if you may pardon the drama pun.

They have separate bedrooms and as soon as we got into her room she tore off my Sid's burger house uniform which wasn't good as I had to pay a deposit on it. She snorted coke off a glass table but I reclined the offer of some as I prefer Pepsi.

The picture above looks nothing like her and change the gun for a sex toy she used on me which was interesting. The poor lady will find that sex after me will not be as good because once you worship at the temple of the Stittman you will never convert.

Today my never regions are a little tender and I was able to steal a shirt from a fellow employee's locker as mine was ripped. I feel bereavement about the shirt but I'm kinda broke right now.

A star to glaze upon

I was in down town Hollywood last week and guess who I happened to gesture into. Yes it was the movie legend Michael Douglas. I know for a fact that he has had some work done on his appearance but it looks as if it is not helping any. I think he is either in rejection mode or has aides either is bad for him.

Douglas was opening up a childrens park for children to play in which is so happyful. I did not see his lovely English wife Zita which is a shame as she is full of the hotness.

I enjoyed watching Raiders of the lost Arch and Jewel in the stone so Michael shall always be young on cellulite and generations to come will enjoy his work.

Compose a dream to dream

I had a dream last night in which I was running naked being hunted in the jungle by horny Austrian temptress Nicole Kidman. I could sense her lust as she watched my muscular buttocks and my square shoulders escape her reach.

It was all just a game for I knew that I would turn the tables and become the hunter. I hid behind a tree ready to jump out and pin her down on the leafy carpeted ground and fill her with my love but then I was back in highschool taking a test and I did not know the correct responses.

I sat up in bed with my heart pounding it was still early so I stretched and did 200 crunches all the while watching my form in the cleverly positioned large mirrors I have. Nicole Kidman does not know what Brady goodness she missed out on.

I called in sick and may not go back to that line of work as it was stifling my creative soul. I see the Cheesy Caesar is hiring I may have to do some recognizance on their menu and uniform. I shall covertly enter the premises as a customer in a cunning fashion.

My ying is feeling out of balance with my yang so I may practice some yogurt and tight chee in the park to center my universe.

Its all about sharing

I have been entering upon a relationship with a young female named Lara. It is a joining of convenience because I work shifts and she works with me . Lara has ADHD but my loving is curing her I believe. She is not my type so when I get another job I shall break her heart. Do not mistake me for a callous cad I am probably the best she will ever get so I'm doing her a favor.
I do not know how long I will be working here but I have convinced Lara to lose some weight as I am no chubby chaser the only thing I get out of this relationship great blow jobs and company so I am most altruistic with my loving they never thank me.

I have the fever

I busted my ass all week with maximizing Intensity workouts. I just started a job unloading deliveries at a large grocery store and as I lift stuff I work out using optimum reps for muscle growth. I must say I am most buff.

The only thing that could make me hotter would be a good tan. I can't afford one at the moment so I shall have to wait for Solaris to fry my skin during a tough game of volleyball.

I have not had intercourse in 2 weeks and my celibacy is causing me to find all manner of female interesting targets.

I believe I may have spring fever so I'll keep taking aspirin before I make a mistake with the large lady at the bakery department .

No one suffers as I do

I am too sullen to publish my inner most thoughts and considerations today. I weighed myself and found I had put on 4 lbs within the last 3 hours. I am now a bloated undesirable lump with only my dazzling smile and humorous wittlings to rely on.

Will I ever get laid again? I must go and do 200 crunches and 80 squat thrusts and then indulge in some Hagendouce ice-cream to drown my sorrows.

Staying home within myself

Listen up amigos I'm staying inside today because I totally gleamed my education this day 4 years ago. I was working at Ralph's as a bagger and boy was it busy. The store was full of ladies all at my checkout. When I moved to other checkouts they moved.

That day I got 14 marriage proposals 3 offers of oral sex and 23 phones numbers one of which was wrapped around a $50 and tucked into the waistband of my pants.

The next week I was promoted to a greeter at the door, a position that did not exist before but I was good for business. I did not mind as I could see my reflection in the glass doors if only I could reach out and caress my soft facial tissue but low I must merely reflect upon myself.