To steal a moment of lust

I totally scored last night. While I was working on the drive thru a regular in a black Escapade starting talking to me as usual but this time it was more than the usual flirting. She met me when my shift ended and we drove at great velocity to her home in the hills.

Her husband is in television production so I thought that this may be a good opportunity for my career which has dramatically slowed down if you may pardon the drama pun.

They have separate bedrooms and as soon as we got into her room she tore off my Sid's burger house uniform which wasn't good as I had to pay a deposit on it. She snorted coke off a glass table but I reclined the offer of some as I prefer Pepsi.

The picture above looks nothing like her and change the gun for a sex toy she used on me which was interesting. The poor lady will find that sex after me will not be as good because once you worship at the temple of the Stittman you will never convert.

Today my never regions are a little tender and I was able to steal a shirt from a fellow employee's locker as mine was ripped. I feel bereavement about the shirt but I'm kinda broke right now.

A star to glaze upon

I was in down town Hollywood last week and guess who I happened to gesture into. Yes it was the movie legend Michael Douglas. I know for a fact that he has had some work done on his appearance but it looks as if it is not helping any. I think he is either in rejection mode or has aides either is bad for him.

Douglas was opening up a childrens park for children to play in which is so happyful. I did not see his lovely English wife Zita which is a shame as she is full of the hotness.

I enjoyed watching Raiders of the lost Arch and Jewel in the stone so Michael shall always be young on cellulite and generations to come will enjoy his work.

Compose a dream to dream

I had a dream last night in which I was running naked being hunted in the jungle by horny Austrian temptress Nicole Kidman. I could sense her lust as she watched my muscular buttocks and my square shoulders escape her reach.

It was all just a game for I knew that I would turn the tables and become the hunter. I hid behind a tree ready to jump out and pin her down on the leafy carpeted ground and fill her with my love but then I was back in highschool taking a test and I did not know the correct responses.

I sat up in bed with my heart pounding it was still early so I stretched and did 200 crunches all the while watching my form in the cleverly positioned large mirrors I have. Nicole Kidman does not know what Brady goodness she missed out on.

I called in sick and may not go back to that line of work as it was stifling my creative soul. I see the Cheesy Caesar is hiring I may have to do some recognizance on their menu and uniform. I shall covertly enter the premises as a customer in a cunning fashion.

My ying is feeling out of balance with my yang so I may practice some yogurt and tight chee in the park to center my universe.

Its all about sharing

I have been entering upon a relationship with a young female named Lara. It is a joining of convenience because I work shifts and she works with me . Lara has ADHD but my loving is curing her I believe. She is not my type so when I get another job I shall break her heart. Do not mistake me for a callous cad I am probably the best she will ever get so I'm doing her a favor.
I do not know how long I will be working here but I have convinced Lara to lose some weight as I am no chubby chaser the only thing I get out of this relationship great blow jobs and company so I am most altruistic with my loving they never thank me.

I have the fever

I busted my ass all week with maximizing Intensity workouts. I just started a job unloading deliveries at a large grocery store and as I lift stuff I work out using optimum reps for muscle growth. I must say I am most buff.

The only thing that could make me hotter would be a good tan. I can't afford one at the moment so I shall have to wait for Solaris to fry my skin during a tough game of volleyball.

I have not had intercourse in 2 weeks and my celibacy is causing me to find all manner of female interesting targets.

I believe I may have spring fever so I'll keep taking aspirin before I make a mistake with the large lady at the bakery department .

No one suffers as I do

I am too sullen to publish my inner most thoughts and considerations today. I weighed myself and found I had put on 4 lbs within the last 3 hours. I am now a bloated undesirable lump with only my dazzling smile and humorous wittlings to rely on.

Will I ever get laid again? I must go and do 200 crunches and 80 squat thrusts and then indulge in some Hagendouce ice-cream to drown my sorrows.

Staying home within myself

Listen up amigos I'm staying inside today because I totally gleamed my education this day 4 years ago. I was working at Ralph's as a bagger and boy was it busy. The store was full of ladies all at my checkout. When I moved to other checkouts they moved.

That day I got 14 marriage proposals 3 offers of oral sex and 23 phones numbers one of which was wrapped around a $50 and tucked into the waistband of my pants.

The next week I was promoted to a greeter at the door, a position that did not exist before but I was good for business. I did not mind as I could see my reflection in the glass doors if only I could reach out and caress my soft facial tissue but low I must merely reflect upon myself.

I hope you come in peace

Whoa man did you see this in the newspaper? The only time I look at a paper and I see this. A ufo in Riverside and I was just there last Wednesday. It happened on Friday which is a real bummer just think I could have gotten some hot green woman action. You wanna anal probe me? I wanna do you baby. Watch the skies man.

Boy Troy

I recently partook in a commercial for Head and Shoulders shampoo and conditioner. Four days of shooting on the beach and a lot of humorous thrashing about of my fake hair. I play Achilles and my only weakness is dandruff . They put the shine and bounce in during post production. I had to miss three shifts at Subway eat fresh and so I am pondering if I still have gainful employment or not. My calf muscles look pretty excellent after running about in the sand.

Work is a 4 letter word acting is not

To supplement my income I must endure some hard psyhical labor. As of Saturday I shall be working in a Subway restaurant. I detest working in the eatables industry and relieve my boredom by cross comtanimating the food with parts of my firm muscular body.

It turns me on to think about hot chicks eating a sub that just had my pickle in it.

My range

I was filling up my trusty Nova Dart when I spied in another vehicle and man and woman having a heated dispute. The brute raised his hand and slapped the fair maiden I could not stand for this. I shouted "hey! you there" the man turned to look at me and said " yo bro I can do what I want shes my wife." The thug raised his hand again so I reached in and grabbed him. What followed was a tense 20 second stand off as we stared at each other, the frightened damsel fled the car and the man faced with my awesomeness drove off. I was so mad you do not hit a woman dude. The woman's name was Heather and she gave me her number to see about repaying my kindness sometime but I do not fight crime for money.

I had a 7am casting call today, the producers were impressed with my push ups. I wore my muscle t-shirt to show off my capabilities to their full extent though it was most chilly . They said I was more of a Robert Redford type than a Brad Pitt type. This stung and I begged them to reconsider but no I did not get the employment.

My full moon

Its a cold and windiful night in the city of Angels so I'm staying in and doing some crunches as I watch 'Fight Club' a most excellent and thought provoking movie. I went over to a great blog hosted by the bodacious MJ entitled 'Insomniac' so now I am also doing clenching and squats to tone up and firm my sexy backside . I do exercise Ball Plie Squats for the old gluteus maximus and they are most effective.

My love is a cold pebble

My rendezvous with the lovely Kelly went most satisfactory. The weather was cold and murky and my choice of attire was a white almost see through shirt, it was cunningly sexy yet frosty.

We dined at Omakase which was as usual delicious.
Kelly was pounding the Jager while I sipped on a low calorie fruit drink.
By the end of the night her hands were all over my rock hard pecs so we headed over to her place in my trusty Nova Dart and had hot bunny sex on her couch then in her bedroom.

I only had sex with her to make her happy as she had not reliantly stimulated my heart.
Without going into unseemly details the best part was in the bedroom, she was being a pillow princess with her butt in the air as I loved her doggy way.
I could totally see myself in the vanity mirror as my muscles glistened with sweat and soon my labor of love had milked me dry.

I helped myself to her fridge contents and slipped out in the pre-dawn darkness. I do not think I shall be calling her again but at least I have substance for a couple of days and a 'Meet Joe Black' DVD.

My fellow Thespian Heath Ledger died this week when he choked on his own vomit in the bathtub. This news perturbs me greatly, I shall use the sorrow and channel the pain in future performances.

Famine is harsh

I revere my exercise ball and as I am mostly a strapping 6-footer I have one the size of about 26 inches. I train my extremities to excess sometimes and neglect my firm washboard abs. That is bad bad bad bad Brad. I say that to myself sometimes. I like to have my ripples felt but some people are a timid rabbit hopping cautiously out of the hedge to do so. My agent likes to make sure I keep myself in shape and she is very strict about feeling my muscles I value her perceptions greatly.

Whoa this blogging requires considerable mental effort to think about items to write about. I have a date on Friday with a nice young lady who gave me her number as I performed some squat thrusts outside of Neiman Marcus. Her name was either Jenny or Diane as she had failed to write that down with her number. I think I'll appear cultured and take her to Omakase for some sushi. I hope she does not mind sharing the bill as work is lean like my body since the writers strike began but I acquiesce their cause.

I love the Marble Lobster Roll as one can never get enough lobster!!! spicy tuna, avocado and cucumber yummy!!! I adore the deep fried tempura lobster on top with the eel sauce. I now feel a desire or need for food just contemplating it in fact I am most rapacious. I have a couple of slices of Pizza Mia Pizza in the refrigerator which means an hour on the ball but what can I do I'm malnourished ?

The fear of fame

I was merely exiting Taco Bell as I enjoy partaking of their 'big fat tacos' for they are most tasty. A man I had never witnessed before was about to enter the establishment and spoke to me, he said " Hey aren't you the guy from the TV?" I have done many commercials I formed the opinion he was referring to my recent Coors lite work, you can just see me miming conversation at the bar.
I was actually miming about my pecs, a true actor has to be the character no matter his role and that is what I mainly converse about. I replied to the man, "yes I am that thespian you have enquired about" He backed away and said "I ain't no foot tapper dude." I was most perplexed and considered this as I did my 200 crunches that night. I also focused on working my lats individually.

A fallen tree

I like totally couldn't think of one single consideration to write about. I was jogging along the trail the other day and a tree had fallen impeding my advancement. I stopped and took a sip of my Propel Fitness Water and thought about my next move.
I could have climbed over the tree but I did not want to add to its suffering. I then looked at my forearms, they are looking very muscular I flexed enjoying the veins move for a while then I jogged back from whence I came. I think I made the right determination.